Faces of Gracie Barra Princeton

Hi All. I thought I would do an ongoing series highlighting folks I have come to know through Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. This journey has been about deep connections physically, mentally, spiritually and relationally. So telling the story of someone like my friend Kyle is a window into why this is a great experience.

When I asked Kyle why he started this was his response,

“Age-39. Why I started?- There are SEVERAL reasons why, but if I had to be honest and pick one, it would be for the adversity it brings. I learned something about myself during wrestling in high school, it was that I needed the physical and mental exertion it provided in order to release built up frustrations and aggression that I had deep down inside me. I was always happier and more easy going when I was wrestling. Knowing this about myself and dreaming about being a “jiu jitsu guy” for years led me to the day I met Coach Turtle. What have I benefited? Again, too many things to choose from. Besides the outlet it provides for me, the physical and mental conditioning, confidence in myself, patience and understanding with others, I would say the two biggest for me would be, the friendship and commradery I have now with like minded, goal oriented, quality positive people and the opportunity for my son and I to share this journey ”

Kyle is an original member who goes all the way back to the Schafer’s days. He was one of the first guys I met after signing up. I have always appreciated Kyle for his tenacity and all in mentality with BJJ. He and I have rolled frequently and I have shared stories of him in my blog before. He is tall and thin and wiry. He has a wrestling background and it shows! If I had to give him a style it would be focused strength and self aware. He reminds me of Joao Miyao with his long strength and kinetic fast twitch style. He is a hand full. And I admit that I will often go into my Panda Jitsu smash mode just to be in safe positions with him! Kyle is also the first training partner I had doing No-Gi training. He subbed me 6 times in my first 6 minute roll. Thanks for the lessons.

Kyle is also a dad to two amazing boys and married to a a great woman. I don’t know his wife too well, but she supports her boys doing BJJ, so I know she has to be great!! His son is a leader in class and I love it when he is there. He is insightful and looks to help others learn and keep the standards of the mats!

When asked how BJJ has changed or informed him in life, here is Kyle’s insight-

“I’m different now because I’m happy. I am learning how to be happy and content with who I am and what I have instead of wishing and wanting all the time. I guess I have gained perspective. I lose that easily and jiu jitsu helps keep me centered.”

If that doesn’t get you off the couch and sign up at GB Princeton or North Princeton, you need to read it again!!

Kyle is one of the guys who has made GB Princeton feel like home to me. He is humble and hard working. I think about the blessing that BJJ is because I am not sure how I would have ever met Kyle without the community that GB Princeton has become.

Come on out to Gracie Barra Princeton and get to know someone great! Work hard alongside of someone and you will find yourself trusting them and respecting them. See you on the mats.

I’m Going to be Sore Anyway- Health and Jiu Jitsu

I Choose Soreness!!!

My hands are sore everyday. I am trying hard to teach or train at least 4 days a week at Gracie Barra Princeton and the soreness used to limit my training. Basically every joint in my body is sore…everyday. I have inflammation and hives that make life uncomfortable. That is why the concept of being comfortable being uncomfortable has been so life changing for me. I have an autoimmune disease that has a crapload of daily side effects. This is my reality. Someone asked me how I felt about it and my only honest answer is that it sucks. It sucks. It is aggravating and painful and discouraging. And there are many ways to deal with this reality. I could drink. I could eat. I could complain. I could take too much Advil. I could feel sorry for myself. Well, I’ve done all of these and none of them made me feel any better. So, I tried Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. And it is working for me.

Hives on the hand…

I am still sore every day and I still get a lot of the same emotions. But, I also have discovered a lot of what BJJ offers. Community, fitness, empowerment, humility and something that I will take the rest of my life to learn proficiently.

I used to choose not to go to class if I was sore. Now I go. Because guess what?!? I’m going to be sore anyway. I might as well get sore doing something I love!! I am going to be sore- so I’m doing it my way. I get to choose soreness. I don’t have soreness put upon me by the weakness of my body or by some stupid disease.

I choose soreness!!!! It’s mine. And I’ve earned it. Gratitude- the powerful gift God has given me. Thank you BJJ for empowering me to make this choice.

Trust- it’s what it takes to grow.

I experienced a threshold in Jiu Jitsu last week. I was promoted to blue belt. It was an emotional experience for me. A friend who practices Jiu Jitsu congratulated me and remembered wondering to himself as he was promoted, “I’m a grown man. Why does this mean so much?” I totally understood what he was saying. It didn’t change me magically into a better Jiu Jitsu player, but it represented 14 months of hard work, mental and physical challenges, overcoming time constraints, injuries and wholehearted support and encouragement from my family.

Gratitude has been a theme for me as I have started on this BJJ journey. I felt that again during the promotion. It was a marker along the way that I can look at and remember this is a real experience that is transforming me. I am a stronger individual for doing this sport. And that strength has made me a better friend, a better husband, a better dad, a better pastor, and a better addition to the groups I’m a part of. For that I am grateful.

I am also grateful for Gracie Barra Princeton. Michael Leonardi is an entrepreneur who has been captivated by the social power of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. He is a purple belt under Professor Ricardo Almeida and the director of GB Princeton and now GB North Princeton.

Mike has taken risks to open these schools and worked hard to influence hundreds of people’s lives. And he is still not afraid to leverage his position to speak out against dangerous things in our society. I have heard him champion racial equality, respect for all and passionately call for men in our culture to stand up and partner with our sisters to make the world a safe and better place. #notonmywatch

Trust is a powerful thing. I am not naturally good at trust. I have a complex history with trust and I don’t go gently into it. That being said, I am more capable of trust today than I was before I started practicing BJJ. I trust myself more because I have risen to a challenge. BJJ is hard. And I have not given into the temptation to quit when it has gotten tough. It takes time and it takes will. It takes a tolerance for pain. It also takes having a sober judgment of who I am. How fit I am and how tall the mountain I have to climb is.

My growing self trust has positively influenced my ability to trust others. I trust my coaches as they have invested hundreds of hours into my growth as a Jiu Jitsu practitioner. And I trust my training partners. That’s not to say they are perfect, just as I am not a perfect training partner. Just last week my toughest partner and I rolled together in live training. I was exhausted and he could tell. So he told me to just use technique to escape or challenge the position I was in. We rolled for 6 minutes this way and it was really beneficial to my game. It took restraint, empathy, and humility on his part. He could have easily crushed me. But he didn’t. He nurtured my Jiu Jitsu game. And we both grew. I am so grateful to training partners like this. And I am grateful for a culture that facilitates humble training.

Constant challenge and a consistent and earnest response to it, creates character and culture. I am fully immersed in this now as a way of life. It flows over into all the facets of my life.

My faith has grown as I have discovered new ways to trust. I understand the flat sides of my faith and areas when I have been reluctant to surrender to God and to others. Now I practice surrender 2-4 times a week and I’m getting better. I think about what it means to say I tap. I tap to my own selfish will. I tap to my own desires for comfort. I tap to the things that do not lend to my or others flourishing.

In the space that this surrender creates is the room for growth.

And gratitude. And loyalty. And character. And humility. And grace.

Blue belt. Simple. Yet significant!!